All I Got For Christmas

The last week of December is widely celebrated with glitz and enthusiasm all across the globe, except for a few places. One such place is the ward that I am currently in, where the air usually feels heavy from the sighs and sorrows of the people accommodated here. Where at every turn of your head, you spot someone your age or younger struggling with something. I am one of those people this year, at a time when people and their families walk into new beginnings by being grateful for the blessings and the lessons learnt and resolutions for a better tomorrow. Like every other inmate, I was miles away from half of my family, missing them terribly.

With every passing day the memories hurt more. The view of the Christmas tree wrapped in fairy lights in one corner of the room, the fragrance of freshly baked

cake around the house and the warmth of having my family around while devouring a pizza together, kept appearing over and over again in my mind. I knew everyone associated with this place would put something together for the ones stranded here, but can you ever actually find home, away from home? I didn’t think so, and I was wrong.

With 25th December a few hours away, the world seemed to have plotted to show me how everyone was having fun. From the TV to my phone, every association I had with the outside world flooded with glimpses of dining families, baked goodies and an overflowing Park Street. Frustrated, I ended curling up under my blanket and fell asleep with a head full of thoughts. I woke up to my father’s call, it was morning and I had get my vitals checked. As I dragged the infusion stand across the corridor, something felt different. There were lights and stars and happy faces all around me. Across the ward, stood a Christmas tree, surrounded by children half its height, looking up with sheer delight. The tree looked happy too, for everyone around, it was not just another decoration, but a sign of celebration and joy. The faces around the ward radiated different emotions. The air didn’t feel so heavy, it felt warm and welcoming. No one looked at each other with pity, everyone smiled and included one another as their own, broken families added up to one big family and absent members joined in on video calls.

A newly admitted kid I came across was in awe, he had woken up to find chocolates under his pillow, and a smile broke out on his face the very next instant. The mother couldn’t hide her happiness either, after all she had spotted a smile on her child’s face after days. A little girl was busy on a video call with her father, the big star they had once not been able to purchase from a store was finally hanging in front of her, and what was even better was that she could take it at the end of the day! There was a small line outside the common bathing area, kids of all sizes stood with their mothers and the pairs couldn’t wait to get ready for the program at their beloved playroom. I stood there, feeling like William Wordsworth by the lake, appreciating the host of golden daffodils, while bindis appeared on creased temples and smiles on lost faces.

I wasn’t allowed to attend the program at the playroom, but that didn’t stop me from receiving the goodies. Santa and his little assistant paid me a visit too! I

didn’t hesitate to show everything I had received to Mouli ( and also send some of it to her the following day; I’m not that bad ) but I really wished that I had my family by my side while witnessing everything that I had.

And for the days that lay ahead-

“For oft, when on my couch I lie

In vacant or in pensive mood,

They flash upon that inward eye

Which is the bliss of solitude;”

I have read this poem so many times, trying to figure out what Wordsworth felt, but who knew I would find my daffodils in a hospital ward, where a few rays of sunshine would carry the breeze, making these little daffodils dance and sway with joy. And now that I know what it feels like, I wanted to share it with you.

Sending all the love and light to you and your family for the year ahead. I hope you find your host of daffodils and be the ray of sunshine to someone!